From Fear to Flow

How can you love something so dearly and be afraid of it at the same time...

My name is Marina, a name that literally means “of the sea.” Fitting, right? I've always felt a mysterious connection to the water. I was always drawn to the waves, the ocean felt like home, and swimming used to be pure joy and freedom.

But everything changed when I was 13 when I almost drowned in the sea. One moment I was swimming with my cousins, and the next, I was shoved in the blue deep, touching the bottom of the ocean. I remember the panic, how my arms and legs kicked but didn’t move me anywhere, how the water felt endless, and how I kept going down. Somehow, I managed to come up to the surface and survive that day, but the fear stayed.

As much as I still love the sea, to this day, I avoid deep water. Even stepping into a pool sometimes, especially if I am alone, makes me nervous. The mind replays what the body remembers.

For years, my mind associated the sea with danger. It didn’t matter that I was no longer 13 or that I was standing on a safe beach. My subconscious was still in survival mode. But deep down, that love for the water never went away. I missed it. I missed the freedom, the calm, the connection. I missed being able to swim in the sea without the feeling of panic. And one day, I realized I wanted to take that part of myself back.

It wasn’t until much later, when I began studying hypnotherapy, that I truly understood what had happened inside me and how I could finally begin to heal. As I began training in hypnotherapy, I became my own first client. I revisited the memory, not to relive what had happened to me, but to reframe it, safely and with support. I gave that younger version of myself the reassurance she never got: You’re okay. You made it. You’re safe. And slowly, my relationship with the sea changed. The fear lost its grip.

What I’ve learned as a hypnotherapist is that fear is not a weakness. It’s an experience. A message from our subconscious asking to be heard, embraced. My own work, both personally and professionally, has brought me to a place where I can say “I’m working on it.” I’m working on healing my relationship with it. To listen more deeply to what that 13 year old version of me still needs.

Trauma doesn’t always look like what we expect. Sometimes, it comes in the form of water. Sometimes, it comes in silence. And sometimes, it comes in an experience we don’t fully understand even until years later.

I’m still learning to trust the deep, to let it become something sacred, not scary. And I believe healing is exactly that, a journey from fear to reverence.

Now, I’m still not fearless, but I’m free. I can step into the sea without panic. I can swim, maybe still not deep, but with confidence. And most importantly, I can say that I love the water again. It feels like coming back home.

 My name is Marina. I belong to the sea. And I swim in the sea not just with my body, but with my heart. You don’t have to carry the weight of fear forever. There is a path to feeling calm, safe, and free again.